"Robin Hood", "Conan", "Lord of the Rings", "Star Wars" ... What do they have in common? All Evil Lords are bunch of loosers with no imagination. Here’s top 100 of things that would the author of this article do, if he ever became an evil overlord...
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell in my dungeon.
4. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragon of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
5. I will not gloat over my enemies predicament before killing them.
6. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I’ll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought, I’ll shoot him and then say "No."
Came with the post this morning...
Dear Electric Customer,
Just a little note to let you know we understand your anger in the recent price hike. But it should be noted that you have no choice. We are a big company and you will pay what we tell you. You have no choice. We have the power, you need the power. So sad, too bad. Sucks to be you. Below, we have enclosed a little picture to help you understand our feelings about your numerous complaints.
Have a nice day and keep those checks coming, loser!
Your Local Power Company
Dewy Cheatom, President
And this was the picture:
What? I can see you again here? Are you a maschist or something? But look, let’s be honest - you asked for it yourself.
Yo mama’s so ugly, bitch looks like she was hit by the whole damn ugly tree!
Yo mama’s so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn’t play with her.
Yo mama’s so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama’s so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.
Yo mama’s so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Yo mama’s so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don’t get stolen.
Yo mama’s so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama’s so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo mama’s so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how’d you get out so fast."
Yo mama’s so ugly, even the tide won’t come back in.
Yo mama’s so ugly, even the tide won’t take her out.
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell they said "There’s nothing ordinary about it!"
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama’s so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama’s so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she can look up a camel’s butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she can’t even bare the thought of fucking herself.
Yo mama’s so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
Yo mama’s so ugly, if she was a flavor da bitch would be oogalicious.
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.
Yo mama’s so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
Yo mama’s so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama’s so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama’s so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
Yo mama’s so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
Yo mama’s so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup. Yeah, and you, can you say something about my??? Do not even try... :)
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